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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24284575">Almost: Or, A Million Thoughts A Second</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bossxtweed/pseuds/bossxtweed'>bossxtweed</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood, Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, F/F, Other, Violence, it's post season 12 finale for 13 but Missy hasn't learned about the child yet, they break bones and bruise jaws and blacken eyes, they fight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:46:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,146</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24284575</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bossxtweed/pseuds/bossxtweed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Following the events of "The Timeless Children," 13 decides to take her companions on one last journey  -- that is, until they encounter a version of the Doctor's oldest friend and best enemy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor &amp; Yasmin Khan &amp; Graham O'Brien &amp; Ryan Sinclair, Thirteenth Doctor/Missy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Almost: Or, A Million Thoughts A Second</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>one last journey. that was it. the doctor had seen too much, lost too much, and couldn’t <em> bear </em> to put her fam through anymore torture, so she’d decided on something which she had <em> thought </em>would be safe.</p><p>the universe must hate her, or they wouldn’t have exited the tardis to see a woman clad in edwardian purple with an umbrella hooked to her arm and a song drifting from her lips. <em> she couldn’t have known, </em> the doctor thought, somewhere in the back of her mind, but anger quickly blinded her. <em> but she’ll burn it all----all of it, </em> <b> <em>gone, </em> </b> <em> because she’s </em> <b> <em>insecure </em> </b> <em> and what’s worse, </em> <b> <em>she left me. </em> </b></p><p><em> we made </em> <b> <em>progress ---- </em> </b> <em> i almost had my friend back. </em></p><p>
  <b> <em>she left me to die alone.</em> </b>
</p><p>all of these thoughts passed through her mind in a millisecond, and before her companions could stop her, she’d rushed towards missy and swung her fist, striking the other squarely in the jaw and releasing a burst of blood. yaz and ryan stood nearby, their mouths open and eyes wide while graham shouted something, but the doctor didn’t hear him. all she heard was missy’s deep, malicious laugh.</p><p>“doctor!” yaz shouted, but the doctor couldn’t (or <em> wouldn’t</em>) listen as she and the stranger circled round one another. </p><p>“<em>three </em> humans? now that’s being a <em> touch </em>greedy, innit, dearie?”</p><p>“this doesn’t involve them--this is between <b> <em>us, </em> </b> koschei. <em> you. and. me.”  </em></p><p>missy exhaled at the sound of her childhood name. “no, you’re right, theta. just the two of us--oh!” she exclaimed, swinging her umbrella down on the doctor’s neck, sending her crashing to the floor. “now, love,” her gaze flicked briefly up to the doctor’s companions, “tell them you’re sorry, but you’ve got t’ go off with your <b> <em>mistress.</em> </b> <em> ”  </em></p><p>graham started to mouth “mistress” while the doctor freed herself from under the umbrella, and as she fixed missy with a nasty glare she ordered, “<b><em>go,</em> </b> the three of you. back to the tardis. she’ll take you <em> home</em>---home is <b> <em>safe,</em> </b> for the most part, and i <b> <em>can’t</em> </b> leave humans alone in this marketplace.”</p><p>“why not?” ryan queried. “it’s just like a normal one, yea?”</p><p>turning suddenly, she glared at the three humans and snapped, “<em>go. </em> <b> <em>now.</em></b><em>”  </em></p><p>“tell us who she is, first,” yaz pleaded. “someone y’ really hate, yeah, but <em> who </em>is she?”</p><p>with clenched fists the doctor avoided their gazes and merely replied, “doesn’t matter. tardis. <b> <em>now.</em></b><em>”  </em></p><p>talking amongst themselves (and agreeing that they didn’t like this, seeing the doctor act so maliciously, but what could they do if she wouldn’t talk to them?), the trio hesitated, staring between the two time lords and tacitly agreeing to <em> stay, </em>no matter how mad the doctor got at them. trying to be brave, trying to utilize what little she’d learn from her work so far in the force, yaz rushed forward, throwing herself between the doctor and the stranger despite graham’s shouts of protest. the umbrella rose and steady hands swung it downwards, striking squarely in the middle of yaz’s back and she crumpled, wailing as pain shot up her spine and hot tears rolled down her cheeks. </p><p>“<em>foolish </em> child,” missy chided, using a special tone which she often reserved for the most <em> troublesome </em> of children under her care. “<em>no one </em> is going to get between me and my dear, <em> dear </em> theta, so if you know what’s good for you, you’ll go back to her tardis and <em> forget </em>you ever saw me.”</p><p>“that’s <em>low, </em>kosch’, even from <em>you,” </em>the doctor’s tone was cold, flat, and removed as she helped yaz stand and pushed her into graham and ryan’s expectant arms, avoiding eye contact all-the-while. meeting their eyes meant they would see just <em>how much </em>missy’s presence was affecting her. and the <em>last thing </em>she needed was to explain to them how missy was the <em>master </em>and how she likely (<em>hopefully</em>) didn’t know about the timeless child, but even <em>without </em>that gulf between them, the doctor knew about it, and her previous attempts at rebuilding their friendship had all <em>failed</em> due to the efforts of a former prime minister and the wickedness which the master revelled in. </p><p>she <em> threw </em> a thought towards missy as they walked off: <b> <em>stay. </em> </b> <em> i’ll deal with you soon.  </em></p><p>missy laughed and settled on a bench and occupied herself with poking at bits of dirt on the floor with the tip of her umbrella. </p><p>the doctor walked the fam back to her ship, telling graham in detail what to do once they reached the medbay. “have her lay on her stomach, apply ice packs and give her aspirin---<em>that </em> you’ll have to bargain with the tardis for. make sure she knows it’s <em> not </em>for me or she’ll never let you have it.”</p><p>“why not? it can’t be <em> poisonous, </em>can it?”</p><p>she flashed graham an empty smile before changing the subject, lamenting over the desserts her companions were missing out on: a form of cookie dough made from cheesecake batter and capable of greatly altering a person’s mood with even the smallest of bites; something that <em> looked </em> like tacos but tasted like honey and melted on one’s tongue; and the doctor’s <em> personal </em> favorite: <em> edible ball bearings. </em> </p><p>“why would you eat those? doesn’t sound good to me,” ryan commented.</p><p>“they’re <em> wonderful </em> when served on little cakes, and i’m particularly fond of ones that are laced with ginger---they make everything all <em> slow </em> and <em> funny! </em> only downside is, i end up absolutely <em> starving </em> after, and i’m quite fond of omelets, but it gets to be hard to cook…”</p><p>“uh, doc---” graham started, but yaz yowling in pain took her attention. </p><p>“you’ll be alright, yaz. no permanent damage---at least, none that i can see at the moment. missy knows how to hurt a person---she wanted to get rid of you, as much as---” the doctor’s eyes grew wide and she swallowed. “ah. nevermind. here’s the tardis,” she snapped her fingers to open the doors and ushered her companions inside.</p><p>“i don’t like the sound of that, doctor. my back feels like it’s on <em> fire!” </em>yaz snapped, leaning now on the console. </p><p>“you’ll be <em> fine, </em> yaz! though you really <em> should </em> go lie down. and have some aspirin. bargain for it---i’m <em> sure </em> she’ll let <b> <em>you</em> </b> have some,” the doctor pointed at graham. “just be safe, yeah?” she turned to leave but stopped as ryan reached out and grabbed her by the arm.</p><p>“wait! tell us who she is before you send us off,” ryan pleaded. “you’ve lied to us too many times--so <em> please, </em> just this once-- <em> tell us who she is! </em>” </p><p>the doctor pulled free from his grasp and glanced between the three humans before shaking her head, saying, “no. it’s better if you don’t know. so <b> <em>please,</em> </b> take yaz to the medbay and don’t worry about me.” without waiting for them to respond, she sonicked the console and ran out before the tardis went whirling through the time vortex, taking her protesting companions back to sheffield.</p><p>she found missy where she’d left her, only now the other time lord was laying down on the bench with her eyes closed and a fist-shaped bruise forming on her jaw. </p><p>“get up,” the doctor spat through gritted teeth, and she grabbed missy by the shoulder, giving her a rough shake.</p><p>the mistress groaned and rolled onto her side. if the doctor was looking for a<em> fight, </em> she <b> <em>wouldn’t</em> </b> let herself be an easy target, and perhaps if she lay still for long enough, the doctor would leave her alone. she could use a nap after the day she’d had. zygons, the president of some earth colony in the 51st century, and the pain of running away from a series of explosions in high heels had all served to wear her out.</p><p>when missy didn’t move, the doctor grabbed her by both shoulders and threw her to the ground, startling her awake. </p><p>yelping, she opened her eyes and glared up at the doctor, spitting, “what did you do <em> that </em> for, dearie? cannae i <em> rest?”  </em></p><p>glaring at her, the doctor replied, “<em>nae, </em>love. stand up and face me.”</p><p>laughing, missy snatched up her umbrella and stood, her eyes roaming over the doctor’s new form. “huh. you’re shorter now, dearie. and blonde… when was the last time you were blonde?”</p><p>the doctor reached into her coat pocket and pulled out her sonic, her hazel eyes devoid of warmth as they met missy’s blue ones, and she primed the sonic, hoping at the very least to knock missy down without having to touch her.</p><p>“and <em> what,” </em> missy scoffed, “is <b> <em>that?” </em> </b></p><p>“sonic. made it m’self. do y’ like it?”</p><p>missy tilted her head from side to side and pursed her lips, then shook her head, saying, “<em>that? </em>it couldn’t hurt <b><em>rassilon</em></b> if he was standing two feet away.”</p><p>spitefully did the doctor activate her sonic, setting off a shrill buzzing, and in the same moment, missy swung her umbrella, knocking the device from her opponent’s hand and sending it hurtling across the floor.</p><p>“hey!” the doctor exclaimed, her jaw dropping in shock. “not fair!”</p><p>fury burned in missy’s gaze as she retorted, “<em>well, </em>dearie, i rather think that <em>sucker punching me </em>in the jaw is <b>“</b><b><em>nae fair,”</em></b> but then again who am <em>i </em>to judge?”</p><p>frowning, the doctor reached forward and grabbed the umbrella with both hands, dug her heels into the ground, and <em> pulled, </em>but missy refused to loosen her grip and instead shoved the metallic tip towards the doctor, striking her squarely between the ribs and knocking her to the ground. discarding her umbrella, the mistress launched at the doctor before she could stand and, kneeling on her stomach, struck at her face. once. the doctor laughed, mockingly. twice. the doctor grabbed one of missy’s arms and held it back, even as one eye swelled shut and her vision blurred. thrice. she tasted blood. </p><p>before missy could strike another blow, the doctor threw her off and stood, wiping blood from her mouth with a shirtsleeve---<em> ol’ girl won’t be happy to see this, </em>she thought, feeling the reddish-orange blood permeating the cotton fabric. and, curiously, she swallowed, tasting gallifreyan metals on her tongue, feeling for the briefest of moments an immense wave of sorrow for a planet that was never hers and that she could never return to. </p><p>“are we going to <em> talk </em> about whatever’s clearly bothering you?” missy spat. “because i’m a <em> wee bit </em> confused, dearie. how about this: <em> scowl </em> if it’s something that happened in the past, and <em> glare </em>if it’s something that happened in the future.”</p><p>after watching the doctor for a moment, missy frowned, saying, “ah. <b><em>both,</em></b> then. <em>your </em>past and <em>my </em>future, is <em>tha’ </em>it? well, i simply <em>cannae </em>wait to see what happe---” a knee to her abdomen cut her off and she doubled over, spitting a slew of gallifreyan curses.</p><p>“<em>no, </em> koschei. <em> i’m </em> <b> <em>not</em> </b> <em> here to talk,” </em> the doctor retorted, standing over the mistress. “not now. not after everything. you <em> don’t deserve </em> the pleasure of polite conversation.” she rushed at missy and knocked her over again. then, balancing her weight on one foot, she brought the other down in a crushing blow onto missy’s chest and a wicked smile formed on her lips as she heard the sound of bones <em> breaking.  </em></p><p>gasping, missy took hold of the doctor’s leg and threw her to the ground before taking a moment to center herself, trying to numb herself to the pain. she could ignore the blooming pain in her chest and the smarting of her jaw; in fact, she was already compartmentalizing this encounter: the doctor was angry at her, but that wasn’t new; what <em> was </em>new was the fact that the doctor seemed unphased by her own bruised ribs and swollen face, and that no compassion existed in her gaze. </p><p>“either we <em> talk </em> and you <b> <em>apologize </em> </b> for breaking my ribs,” she spat, wrapping one hand around the doctor’s neck, <em> “or </em> i cut off your air supply and <em> shock you </em> with my umbrella until you regenerate. and i’ll keep going, and going, and <em> going, </em>until the universe finds it suddenly missing a doctor.”</p><p>“y’ <em> wouldn’t, </em>kosch’,” the doctor retorted.</p><p>“wouldn’t i?” she replied, tightening her grip. </p><p>“y’ <em>couldn’t,” </em>the doctor amended, and for the briefest of moments her anger faded into fear and resignation. then, softly, she made an appeal: “aren’t you <em>tired, </em>missy? of…. of <b><em>this?</em></b> of <b><em>always fighting?” </em></b>she sighed.</p><p>missy loosened her grip on the doctor’s neck, allowing her to break away and run towards where her sonic had slipped under a display table (and she apologized <em> profusely </em>for bleeding on their fancy white garments). meanwhile, the mistress stood and took up her umbrella, which she hooked over her arm, saying, “huh. another lifetime, maybe…..”</p><p>her thought was interrupted by two judoon---mall security, sent in to clean up the mess---who escorted the pair out for causing a public disturbance.</p>
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